Where will all the Lemmings Go?

Lemming :

" a small arctic rodent noted for recurrent mass migrations often terminated by drowning in the ocean. "(Funk & Wagnalls.)

Don't ask me why -but these cute

furry little critters will run after

each other

by the thousands over very large cliffs.

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I imagine the Christian Coalition is more closely

related to the lemming than the chimpanzee.

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"The chief business of the clergy has always been to destroy the joy of life, and multiply and magnify the terrors and tortures of death and perdition. They have polluted the heart and paralyzed the brain; and upon the ignorant altars of the Past and the Dead, they have endeavored to sacrifice the Present and the Living.

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Somebody ought to tell the truth about the Bible. The preachers dare not, because they would be driven from their pulpits. Professors in colleges dare not, because they would lose their salaries. Politicians dare not. They would be defeated. Editors dare not. They would lose subscribers. Merchants dare not, because they might lose customers. Men of fashion dare not, fearing that they would lose caste. Even clerks dare not, because they might be discharged. And so I thought I would do it myself.

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We are told to investigate the Bible for ourselves, and at the same time informed that if we come to the conclusion that it is not the inspired word of God, we will most assuredly be damned. Under such circumstances, if we believe this, investigation is impossible. Whoever is held responsible for his conclusions cannot weigh the evidence with impartial scales. Fear stands at the balance, and gives to falsehood the weight of its trembling hand I oppose the church because she is the enemy of liberty; because her dogmas are infamous and cruel; because she humiliates and degrades woman; because she teaches the doctrines of eternal torment and the natural depravity of man; because she insists upon the absurd, the impossible, and the senseless; because she resorts to falsehood and slander; because she is arrogant and revengeful; because she allows men to sin on a credit; because she discourages self-reliance, and laughs at good works; because she believes in vicarious virtue and vicarious vice -- vicarious punishment and vicarious reward; because she regards repentance of more importance than restitution, and because she sacrifices the world we have to one we know not of. The free and generous, the tender and affectionate, will understand me. Those who have escaped from the grated cells of a creed will appreciate my motives. The sad and suffering wives, the trembling and loving children will thank me: This is enough." (Robert G. Ingersoll. Washington, D.C. April 13, 1878. T About The Holy Bible this Preface begins on page 259 of volume 1 of the Dresden Edition, it was in the beginning of an earlier volume of THE GHOSTS .. PREFACE 1878)

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Ministers wonder how I can be wicked

enough to attack the Bible.

I will tell them:

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This book, the Bible, has persecuted, even unto death, the wisest and the best. This book stayed and stopped the onward movement of the human race. This book poisoned the fountains of learning and misdirected the energies of man. This book is the enemy of freedom, the support of slavery. This book sowed the seeds of hatred in families and nations, fed the flames of war, and impoverished the world. This book is the breastwork of kings and tyrants -- the enslaver of women and children. This book has corrupted parliaments and courts. This book has made colleges and universities the teachers of error and the haters of science. This book has filled Christendom with hateful, cruel, ignorant and warring sects. This book taught men to kill their fellows for religion's sake. This book funded the Inquisition, invented the instruments of torture, built the dungeons in which the good and loving languished, forged the chains that rusted in their flesh, erected the scaffolds whereon they died. This book piled fagots about the feet of the just. This book drove reason from the minds of millions and filled the asylums with the insane.

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This book has caused fathers and mothers to shed the blood of their babes. This book was the auction block on which the slave- mother stood when she was sold from her child. This book filled the sails of the slave-trader and made merchandise of human flesh. This book lighted the fires that burned "witches" and "wizards." This book filled the darkness with ghouls and ghosts, and the bodies of men and women with devils. This book polluted the souls of men with the infamous dogma of eternal pain. This book made credulity the greatest of virtues, and investigation the greatest of crimes. This book filled nations with hermits, monks and nuns -- with the pious and the useless. This book placed the ignorant and unclean saint above the philosopher and philanthropist. This book taught man to despise the joys of this life, that he might be happy in another -- to waste this world for the sake of the next. I attack this book because it is the enemy of human liberty -- the greatest obstruction across the highway of human progress.

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*Let me ask the ministers one question:

How can you be wicked enough to defend this book?"

"I think that Ingersoll had all the attributes of a perfect man, and, in my opinion, no finer personality ever existed. Judging from the past, I cannot help thinking that the intention of the Supreme Intelligence that rules the world is to ultimately make such a type of man universal." (Thomas Edison, Front Matter to Ingersoll's Greatest Lectures, compiled by Joseph Lewis)

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"The son of God is the same as the son of man; the son of man is the same as the son of God. God, the father, is the same as Christ, the son; Christ, the son, is the same as God, the father. This language may appear confused to unbelievers, but Christians will readily understand it." (Voltaire, quoted from John E Remsberg, The Christ)

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Well folks Ive only been wrestling down the demons of dissolution dissolving the dandy - done it damn it - now do it - stayin on to studiously study the simple stylin - halleluiah - Here comes Jesus Jumpin for joy! Yep that's it -Use them zealot religious critters in the highway to practice blind fold drivin my new 10 ton cement roller paintin white stripes on their back breakin in my halleluiah highway paint kit while putting a paint ball bulls eye on those who go whining to congress about Moms tryin to outlaw automatic handguns.

When I'm through with that - I'll gas up and give another go around.. Got to stay hydrated though- don't want no passin out in the courtroom careening about like a crazy cyclist colorin with crayons on the freeway in a Texas downpour with headlights on tryin to stay dry. That's right wavin at passersby and puttin myself steadfast on the white line in the middle of the highway wonderin what all the hootin nanny fuss is about.

Ain't got none can't have no violent volcano vacillating in the valley of valiant variances petitioning for the mountaintop to throw a hi yi yippee yi yea! Can't be no wandering Moses fool following the feeble faulterin in the famine of failure - Can't have no wishin Noah it would hurry with that rainstorm so I can grab my color crayons and get on my mo-ped and RIDE !!

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